Not Sure what is going on right now.....no sleep.....second happy pill of the day....trying to keep busy....auto pilot mainly.... Glad the kids are not here, just want to crawl into a hole and die. Life wasn't meant to be this complicated. I should just stay away from people, every ones life would be a lot easier.... I should just do my meaningless little bits and pieces of junk and let the world move one without me.... I break stuff.... I cannot cope with that anymore.....
6:30.....Car is packed for markets.....Really don't want to go tomorrow, but I am broke and will just spend the whole day eating or drinking, or both if I don't..... Really not sure if I am doing the right thing, it is hard....very hard.... Just sad. I really thought I could be happy and make her happy, cant take the pressure anymore.... I just want to stop hurting people....
6:30.....Car is packed for markets.....Really don't want to go tomorrow, but I am broke and will just spend the whole day eating or drinking, or both if I don't..... Really not sure if I am doing the right thing, it is hard....very hard.... Just sad. I really thought I could be happy and make her happy, cant take the pressure anymore.... I just want to stop hurting people....
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