So a lovely day shopping, a big pile of water colour pencils, great lunch with a friend and......then of course the spanner....Get a ex-txt asking me to make the appointment for my sons haircut because as the manager of a large government department she is afraid of phones....and then one of those dreaded ambushes by the head of school to have a little chat about my son's behaviour....stomach sinking....it was the one thing i was happy with....So 3 hours of talking to him and trying to work through things, think i started to get to the bottom of it....Part frustration and Part anxiety and part attention seeking.....Guess I should have expected some fallout from the separation with the kids.....I don't think it's a coincidence that his major outbursts today where after he found out his mother wasn't coming to see him last night....My damn fault for telling the kids....Phoned her to talk about it, but just felt like i was interrupting her new shiny life....I get that she wanted to leave me....I didn't think that meant not having to think about kids....really mad right now. I know her mother was a cold hard selfish.....well you get the idea....but you would think that would make someone more aware of the fact that ignoring your own children....even when you are in the same room as them, fucks people up....So she gets her life, hanging out with someone who did something unspeakable to me, and god knows what else...and I get financially screwed and made to feel guilty if I ask for help.....that seems about right.....maybe I should just take the kids and move somewhere a long way away....
Oh but the pencils are nice....
Oh but the pencils are nice....
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