Allergic to Shellfish.....

Not in a happy bubbly little mood at the moment....more like a big fuk'in dark cloud.... A week of people asking me about leaving, finally reached breaking point today.... The last day of school... It was raining and I wore dark glasses but even that wasn't fooling anyone.... After the forth person asked I was starting to lose it...then I see my beautiful boy wander up the corridor, being hugged and given xmas gifts by students and teachers.... and when he saw me his bottom lip dropped and trembled... and there were tears from us both.... The head of school hugged me and told me how sad she was that we were going and we spoke of Sebastian's amazing progress....Lily was quite... and on the edge of tears, not the get your own way tears she is so good at, but just lost and upset tears.... My son hugged the school goodbye and I fell apart.... I got home and read the notes the teachers had written for my children, I sat outside and wept openly.....

It would have been a nice day to get some support from anywhere....but not today it seems....and I won't be holding my breath for the ex to contact her children, to make sure they are OK.... Some days it just seems a little unfair.... I try to keep the world an upbeat place, it would be nice if the world made an effort when I couldn't... I am off to eat ice-cream and drink vodka.... and tomorrow I will dust myself off and smile and try and make everything OK, for everyone else again.... not because I am a martyr in case that's what your thinking.... But I have come to far to stop being allergic to selfish....